Notes for today

The Cubs swept the dirty southsiders at home this weekend. Always a good thing. We get Marissa Miller to throw out the first pitch, even though Meathead did Sunday night's game.

And speaking of ugly or not, here is a picture of Gus. Yes, he is missing a leg and and an eye.

Finally, Rest In Peace George Carlin, a funny man.

As a matter of principle, I never attend the first annual anything.

Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.

I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.

I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death.

I'm not concerned about all hell breaking loose, but that a PART of hell will break loose... it'll be much harder to detect.

If it's true that our species is alone in the universe, then I'd have to say that the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted?

Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.

Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? They never mention that part to us, do they?

When someone asks you, A penny for your thoughts, and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny?

I don't have hobbies; hobbies cost money. Interests are quite free.

And speaking of special interests, looks like Obama has friends in ethanol biz. Another mark in the hypocrisy category

Mr. Obama is running as a reformer who is seeking to reduce the influence of special interests. But like any other politician, he has powerful constituencies that help shape his views. And when it comes to domestic ethanol, almost all of which is made from corn, he also has advisers and prominent supporters with close ties to the industry at a time when energy policy is a point of sharp contrast between the parties and their presidential candidates.

And he is a friggin' sox fan. Can you think of a better reason not to vote for the schmuck? I don't care if he is a Bears fan. I bet he'd throw them under the bus like his many other ...