WASHINGTON, DC—In the latest in a long series of ominous public pronouncements, the Department of Evil released a statement Monday demanding that all residents of the United States must die.
Dread Secretary of Evil Hammond S. Reynolds told reporters that they, too, must die.
"Yes, all must die," Dread Secretary of Evil Hammond S. Reynolds said during a press conference in Room 1228 of Washington's Robert C. Weaver Federal Building.
Reynolds was up for the FEMA job, but the excessive drooling at the interview from the chance to further cause destruction scared staffers.
Originally established by an act of Congress in 1953 and granted broader powers and funding in 1986 under the second Reagan administration, the Department of Evil has been an occasional source of controversy. Its 1993 And The Streets Shall Run Red With The Blood Of The Innocent initiative was highly criticized at the time by moderates, who thought the department's agenda overly harsh.
An official from the Department of Evil described their 2007 strategic action plan at a conference in January.
In 2004, an ambitious plan to seed the clouds with blood and then rain excruciation down upon the thrice-damned didn't even make it past a Senate budget committee, which criticized the plan as poorly conceived.
So my anger as always goes in the putrid direction of the the Democratic Propaganda Officers in the media and its wretched attempts at discrediting our evil agenda. I mean agenda of peace, love and mercy.
4 comments:
Obob..all ya need is love..waa waa waa waa waaaaaaaa!..what a bunch of hypocrties!..Take heart...and keep fightin the good fight!
the fight is always on, but I gotta step back and laugh at myself now and then.
So when will the great "evil" be unleashed among the unsuspecting masses of Americans?
Love is great, but doesn't stop the enemy from pulling the trigger when they are pointing the weapon at you!
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